PhD's Notes

true ups and downs

not in the sense of connotations, but in the meaning of denotation

really cold outside and  inside

not in the figurative sense, but in the true meaning.

but that’s the joy of life

when the rotation of the wheel really felt

everything is wonderful

hope

prayer

future,

when everything really hung in God,

yes, only to GOD

whatever the circumstances at the time,,

that is where you will feel the joy of life

that is really life.

2 days ago i felt down from my bicycle, and today i remembered the lyric of this song :

“The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside

Couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows I tried”
when i ride my bicycle in the rainy night, for the first time i felt the winter is really cold.
i felt this is the meaning that life is beautiful, if i die i will be die as what i think and i want, not as i can.

“Don’t let them in, don’t let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know
Well, now they know”

when they mock me, and talk about something that decrease my motivation,
i said to my mind

“Let it go, let it go”
and then i sing a popular song :
“Can’t hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door
I don’t care
What they’re going to say
Let the storm rage on,
The cold never bothered me anyway”

and i am continuing the song..

“It’s funny how some distance
Makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me
Can’t get to me at all

It’s time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me
I’m free

Let it go, let it go
I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go, let it go
You’ll never see me cry

Here I stand
And here I’ll stay
Let the storm rage on

My power flurries through the air into the ground
My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around
And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast
I’m never going back,
The past is in the past

Let it go, let it go
And I’ll rise like the break of dawn
Let it go, let it go
That perfect girl is gone

Here I stand
In the light of day
Let the storm rage on,
The cold never bothered me anyway “